nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
