Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I party with great urgency now.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
