we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
