He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
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I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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