So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so that wasnt chicken after all
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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