Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
