No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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