he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
