Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm always down for nudity.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
