We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
