We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
it's great music for shaving your balls
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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