It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Randomize