I wanna bring you to show and tell
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
