you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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