It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You're a waste of cheezeits
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
