Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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