I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
