She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You're like the curious george of whores
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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