What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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