no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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