I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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