My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
