What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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