that's an acceptable place to lick
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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