The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Everything about him screamed your future.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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