therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
