I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
