fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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