dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
the day after is always just damage control
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
