I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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