My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
