FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
