i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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