It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
