I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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