I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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