I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The best revenge is premature balding
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
