just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
