u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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