Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
