..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
