Only a mothe r could love this liver
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize