Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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