Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
