I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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