Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
