I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
