Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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