I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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