Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
