Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.