i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?