and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
