I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
