Have you finally orgasmed yet?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
