yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
