im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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