dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
