When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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