I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
