i think my tv is drunk
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
