you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
