So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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