the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize