...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
