while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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