You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
